Why Your Spouse Isn’t Always Your Soul Mate

Welcome friends, to another week of ‘Ask Charla’. Astrology Answers gets a lot of questions about love and relationships, and this week is no exception! Relationships are one of the most important factors in our life satisfaction so it only makes sense that we want to make the best of them. Let’s get down to this week’s question:

Can Numerology Reveal My Soul Mate?

Your life mate and your soul mate aren’t usually the same person. It’s possible to have many soul mates in your life, and they’re very often not lovers. Look at the terminology; a mate for your soul. This could be a teacher, a friend, a parent, a child, and any number of different relationships you may have in the course of your life.

The biggest mistake I’ve seen people make is to want a life mate but ask for a soul mate. This sends out mixed and confusing signals to the universe, and often leads to a lot of disappointment! It’s possible to use numerology to determine both life mates and soul mates, though, and it’s not as hard as it may sound!

Numerology is a great tool for this because you don’t have to know the time and place when you—or the other person—were born. The date of birth (day, month, year), and the name on the birth certificate, and the name used now (because sometimes they’re different, in the case of marriages or nicknames and so on) is all that’s needed for a thorough and complete numerology reading, to tell you just how your life cycles are meshing and how compatible you are!

Numerology & Life Mates

Life Path Number

One of the easiest ways to determine how compatible you are with someone is to look at your life path number and theirs. If you don’t know it, you can find it on our life path number calculator. Some life path numbers are generally more compatible than others, of course. But just like you are more than your hair color, you’re more than your life path number, too! This is when you have to start looking at other factors.

Personality Number

It stands to reason that if you’re going to get along with someone for the rest of your life, your personalities have to compliment each other; otherwise, you’ll be arguing all the time!. You may already know your strengths and weaknesses—or maybe you just think you do! Knowing your personality number helps you to capitalize on your assets.

It can also help you deal with your challenges—and everyone has aspects of their personality that they need to work on. If you know your potential partner’s personality profile before you get too invested in the relationship is often a good thing; forewarned is forearmed!

Unlock the secrets of your personality numbers here.

Heart’s Desire Number

This is another area to examine when determining whether someone has the potential to be your life mate. It stands to reason that if your heart’s desire numbers are harmonious then you’re likely to be compatible too. The heart’s desire number will pull you towards what you truly want out of life. They don’t have to be the same number for you to be compatible.

If your life mate is compatible, then you’re pulling toward the same goals. Even if they’re not 100% compatible according to your numerology chart, you might still be two sides of the same coin and able to support each other towards shared fulfillment and happiness.

You can calculate your heart’s desire numbers here.

Hidden Passion Number

Sometimes people hear the word passion and they immediately think of amorous lovers. While that comes into it, it’s not always the case, especially not in numerology. Your hidden passion number is what’s smoldering just under your awareness, waiting to be uncovered. Yes, you can go through life without knowing this; but why not explore it if you’re able.

When you and your life partner are in harmony about what you truly want out of life, then this creates a couple that is on the same page and has the same vision for their lives together. The passion spills over into the bedroom, and that can’t be a bad thing!

You can find out what your hidden passion number is here.

Personal Year Number

While this isn’t necessarily a sign of compatibility, it is a good thing to know! If your personal year cycles are out of whack with each other, it’s going to bring stress and tension into your relationship. If you’re ready to settle down but the other person isn’t; if you’re in a year for fun and frivolity but they’re in a year of hard work and dedication.

If you’re in a year when you want to retreat into your thoughts but they’re in a year where they need to be the life and soul of the party, you’re going to have problems. Before you jump in with both feet, have a look at your personal year numbers and make sure that you’re not going to always be at loggerheads with each other.

You can calculate your personal year here.

Related Article: Your Numerology Relationship Counselor

Numerology & Soul Mates

Past Life Number

Because a soul mate is a mate for your soul, chances are you’ve been around a time or two before this incarnation! A good place to start looking to see if someone is a potential soul mate is to examine your past life numbers. While this won’t guarantee that someone is your soul mate, it will show you where you may have encountered each other in the past.

Besides that, it’s kind of fun to look at who you were and who they were and speculate about how your lives might have intertwined before your current Earthly adventure!

You can find out more about past life numbers here.

Hidden Desire Number

Often you need someone special to enable you to see what you really want to do with your life and a soul mate has the potential to do just that! When you’re with the person who’s meant to point you on the path of your destiny, you just know it. A soul mate might even be someone with whom you don’t get along.

People can be in your life to teach you a valuable lesson about your own spirit and your own evolution. Soul mates often come into your life very briefly, but the impact they have is lifelong. Your heart’s desire number reveals to you just what that purpose might be, and what your soul mate was sent to teach you.

Challenge Number

You’d never think that a relationship with your soul mate would be a challenge, would you? However, often these are the most demanding relationships you’ll ever experience. Why? Because a soul mate was sent to you to grow your soul. There’s not a lot in life worth having that comes to you without some kind of a challenge!

Your soul mate might be the person who presents that challenge to you, or who gets you to see where the work needs to be done. Soul mates aren’t all the hearts and flowers that many people believe them to be. Many soul mate connections are downright painful.

Karmic Lesson Number

No surprises here! Whether your soul mate is a life mate or a friend or a pain in your wazoo, there’s going to be some karma there. Your karmic lesson is not just what you took this incarnation to learn, though. It also includes what you brought into this lifetime—good and challenging—from other incarnations.

If you were with your soul mate during those times, there’s the potential to reconnect in order to finish what you started. Depending on the nature of this lesson, your soul mate might be your best friend, or a parent or child, a sibling or a teacher, or the most annoying ex on the planet. To get to the root of what you’re meant to be learning from this person, check out your karmic lesson numbers!


I wish there was a way to use numerology to tell you who your soul mate was, or who you were supposed to marry, but sadly it doesn’t work like that. Numerology is enlightening and revealing, but it doesn’t take away your free will—not even the angels themselves can do that!

Before you commit yourself to someone else, it’s a good idea to have numerology or astrology done between the two of you. You might not find out their exact role in your life, but you will get an idea of how compatible you are, and that can only be a good thing, right?!

Related Article: Discover Your Past Lives With Numerology

About The Author

Charla Stone

Hi! I’m Charla Stone and I learned astrology and mysticism way back in the 1970s. I’ve spent the last four decades using the stars, tarot, runes, crystals, totems, and more to bring light and guidance to others. I’m just an old hippie at heart who has traveled the world to learn of its cultures. I’ve been published online and in print—which still rather surprises me, as this isn’t something I do, it’s just who I am! When I’m not writing or doing readings, I’m spending time in my garden or the art studio, or with my beloved dogs.
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