The Ultimate Guide to Twin Flames

You’ve heard of soul mates, but are you familiar with twin flames? Maybe you’ve seen the term, but what exactly are twin flames?

Unlike soul mates, who are two souls who share the same energy, twin flames are your literal other half – the one who completes you in this life – two halves that make up the same whole. Also referred to as Twin Souls, it’s an incredibly powerful connection to have.

The twin flame relationship can be intense. You’re friends and lovers, you learn from one another, you teach one another, you share with one another, and grow together.

This ultimate guide will help you understand more about twin flames, how to connect to yours, and what to look out for if you sense you have a false twin flame.

The Twin Flame Phenomenon

If you are new to the concept of twin flames, here is a brief explanation of this concept.

Your twin flame is essentially your highest level Soul Mate, and they are strictly a romantic mate. We all have soul mates that we are not, and will never be, “in love” with.

We may have been in love with them in a past life, but in this lifetime, they are our kindred spirits. A twin flame is a romantic soul mate that you have been involved with during every single one of your soul lifetimes.

At the beginning of time, each soul in your soul circle went off of its blueprints and experienced a series of journeys to test and challenge them. Every soul in the circle is split in two, so each member of your social circle has its own twin flame. This is what we call your “other half.” It is the feeling people refer to when they say, “you complete me.” They believe they have met their highest level soul mate–their twin flame.

It is difficult to know with 100% certainty whether or not you have met your twin flame in this lifetime.

Statistically speaking, most astrology experts would say that it’s a rare event to experience.

Your twin flame may be on another life path or life journey and may not even be available to you in this lifetime at all. Although that doesn’t mean they don’t exist and that you can’t communicate or connect with them.

What is the Purpose of a Twin Flame?

The main purpose of a twin flame is usually to ascend even higher as a soul than if just one half incarnated.

When one half of a soul comes to the physical realm, it can only have its experiences as a soul. When both halves of a soul come to the physical realm, there are twice as many experiences the soul can have, allowing for greater growth and ascension.

If you haven’t met your twin flame yet, you may experience signs that you’re a twin flame and don’t know it. These signs include:

  • feeling different from everyone else
  • not connecting fully with someone else romantically
  • not feeling you have a home anywhere
  • wandering
  • having visions or dreams of love experiences
  • you’re a lightworker or a star seed

In astrology, you may be a twin flame if you have:

  • Venus (planet of love) or the rulers of your 5th house (of love) or 7th house (of relationships) aspecting Saturn (Lord of Karma), Neptune (spiritual planet), Pluto, the Descendant, or conjunct or square your Lunar Nodes (karmic)
  • Saturn, Pluto, or the Lunar Nodes in your 5th or 7th houses
  • a very strong natal Saturn or Pluto

Not sure where the planets are in your birth chart? Use the free birth chart generator to find your placements.

The Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship

There are seven stages in a twin flame relationship that you’ll experience. They are:

1. Meeting

This is when you’ll come together, and the recognition should be instant.

2. Falling in Love

This is when you realize the incredible, powerful love in the twin flame relationship.

3. Start the Relationship & Everything’s Rosey

You’ll come together in the relationship, and everything seems grand, perfect, wonderful. If it’s a romantic relationship, intimacy can be intense and altering.

4. Turbulence & Purging

Since twins are a mirror of ourselves, we can become aware of the darker, shadow sides of ourselves by seeing them in the twin. This can cause challenges that need to be addressed.

This is the stage where problems can be mitigated before you come together by working on yourselves individually.

5. The Runner & the Chaser

This stage usually has one of you running away from the relationship – the Runner – and the other chasing the one running – the Chaser.

The more evolved of you is usually the Chaser, while the lesser evolved is usually the Runner. But, sometimes you’ll find that both people become Runners. This is usually when you’ll separate for a period, and it can be short (like a few days) or long (like many years).

6. Surrender

You understand the power of your connection and how much you want to be in each other’s lives, and accept one another, accept the love, accept yourself, and heal. The healing allows you to come to the final stage.

7. Reunion

After all of that, you now come together in honesty and harmony.

For an in-depth look at these stages, check out: The 7 Stages of Twin Flame Love

A man and a woman, both wearing white shirts, brown belts, and jeans, stand facing forward and look at each other sideways.

What is the Difference Between Twin Flames & Soul Mates?

Some people will call twin flames and soul mates the same thing when they really aren’t.

Each of us has soul mates, but there’s only one twin flame.

Your twin flame technically runs with the same soul mates you do because you’re the same soul. Twin flames are a soul mate in that way, but your soul mates are usually not twin flames.

Are Twin Flame Relationships Always Romantic?

For the most part, twin flame relationships are romantic.

They’re your other half, and you’re meant to connect in every way in this life. Twin flames are unconditional love. The physical connection between twin flames is the most intense, incredible physical connection you can have with someone – it’s truly next level!

Some astrologers do believe they can be platonic, though, and can manifest as incredibly strong friendships instead of romantic ones.

Are Twin Flame Relationships Difficult?

Yes, twin flame relationships can be difficult. This is usually the case when one or both of you hasn’t yet done the mental, emotional, and spiritual work required from your separate experiences and traumas.

When you have baggage from whatever you’ve gone through that you haven’t processed properly, this can impact your ability to come together fully with your twin flame.

Once you’ve both done the work, you can come together more easily and actually stick together. This is when the relationship evolves to a much higher place because both of you have already evolved individually.

Often, the challenges you experience in a twin flame relationship have to do with not dealing with baggage, learning lessons, and not knowing who you truly are on your own.

Are Twin Flames Meant to be Together?

Twin flames are meant to be together in some way, but that doesn’t mean you’ll meet early in life or that it’ll be smooth sailing once you do meet and you’re always together. Many Twins meet later in life (and often after marrying other people!).

And again, if you haven’t done the work when it comes to trauma and baggage, or if you do meet when life circumstances keep you from being together, then it may be delayed at first, or you may come together and then come apart (sometimes over and over).

Does Everyone Have a Twin Flame?

There tends to be some debate about whether or not we all have one in this life. Some believe that your Twin is usually on the other side acting as a guide and that what most people perceive as a twin flame is actually a soul mate.

Others believe that each of our souls split and manifest physically, and we’re destined to come together at some point in this life. If you do have one, you absolutely will meet them.

The time you will meet them, however, is different for each set of twin flames.

Often, you’ll have to go through some trials and tribulations individually before you can come together. In fact, it’s usually better if you don’t come together until you’ve each learned lessons individually and have an understanding of who each of you is.

This can mitigate some of the inherent issues that arise in twin flame connections.

Can a Twin Flame be One-Sided?

If you meet your Twin, you’ll know it, and they’ll know it.

Even if neither Twin knows what a twin flame is, they’ll both know there is something incredibly different and magnetic about the connection, something unlike they’ve ever felt in their lives. If only one of you feels it, then it’s likely not a twin flame relationship.

There are the Runners and the Chasers in the twin flame dynamic, where one person runs away, and the other person chases. This part of the twin flame connection can make it seem one-sided and that the Runner doesn’t care about the other, but that’s not true. The Runner wouldn’t be running if they didn’t feel the connection!

But be clear, if you meet someone who runs from you, that doesn’t automatically mean they’re your twin flame. They may be a false twin flame, which can seem a lot like a true twin flame but isn’t the same thing at all. (Read on to find out more about false twin flames.)

Signs You’ve Found Your Twin Flame

Your twin flame is the other half of your soul. Before incarnating, your soul split into two, and in the case of twin flames, both of you incarnated (though not necessarily at the same time, at least the same time in the physical plane, so you won’t often be the same physical age).

There are many ways you can recognize you’ve met your twin flame and lots of signs that you have. The number one way is simply that you’ll feel it in your soul. You’ll meet this person, and you’ll know it instantly. Something inside of you just knows that this is your Twin.

1. They Feel Like Home

Because your twin flame is the other half of your soul, when you come together, you feel complete. You’re each home to one another. This also prompts you to accept one another as you are (warts and all), and you can feel very comfortable with each other.

2. You Have a Ton in Common Despite Not Having the Same Life

You each have the same taste in music or food, have the same oddball hobby, belong to the same clubs, participated in the same causes, have the same political opinions, etc. You’re both kazoo enthusiasts or love pickles on pizza or high school chess champions.

Your twin flame is not going to be your opposite in terms of what they like. Instead, there are striking similarities between you both. It’s sometimes uncanny!

It may seem strange that you have so many weird things in common when you’ve lived different lives. One was rich while the other was poor. One grew up in a conservative household while the other is a liberal one, one’s from the farm and the other’s from the city, and on and on.

On the surface, your different backgrounds would seem to say you shouldn’t be compatible at all. The soul is a junkie for enlightenment, so each of you may have very different upbringings and experiences in life before coming together. This is meant to help your soul ascend much more.

3. You Feel Like You’ve Met Before

They’re so familiar to you that you swear you’ve met them before.

You actually might have crossed paths without knowing it, or dreamed of one another, so it’s not totally off base. You may have lived in the same city at the same time but didn’t know each other. You may have visited the same place around the same time. You may have the same friends but not know it.

4. You Experience Situational Awareness

You know they’re around even if you don’t see them. You can feel them, their presence. Some write this off as simply intuition, but in the case of twin flames, because you’re the same soul, you have an innate awareness of one another.

Read this next: Twin Flame Signs: 11 Ways to Know You’ve Met Your Match

Astrology Quiz - What is the First Ltter of Your Soul Mate's Name?

Signs Your Twin Flame is Thinking of You

1. You Have Unexpected Emotions

When your twin flame is thinking of you, you may suddenly get a surge of emotions that don’t make a lot of sense or that are different from whatever emotions you were just feeling. This can be a sign that you’re channeling the emotions of your twin flame.

2. Your Energy Increases

By energy, this would be your aura and general well-being. You can experience an unexpected shift upward, feeling good about yourself or life without really knowing why that is. Some may even feel goosebumps and a tingling sensation.

3. You See Them in Your Dreams

If your twin flame is thinking of you, this may connect you in your dreams. This may be a sign that they’re consciously or subconsciously trying to connect with you.

How to Connect With Your Twin Flame

Use Tarot

Tarot can help determine whether you’re on the right path to finding your twin flame, potential blocks you need to work through to connect with your Twin and if you think you have found your Twin, what exactly is going on when the going gets rough.

Some important Tarot cards relating to twin flames are the Lovers and the 6s.

Look to Numerology 11

The number 11 connects to twin flames.

You can see the numbers 11, 11:11, or 1111 (or some set of 11) when you’re going to meet your twin flame pretty often. You’ll notice it over and over again. The Universe is trying to get your attention!

You might want to check out: Master Number 11 – Everyday Signs of Your Twin Flame

Use Telepathy

Since you’re the same soul, you can connect with your twin flame telepathically. This can be done at any time. Just think of them and talk with them in your head as if they’re right in front of you. You may want to clear your Heart chakra and make sure you’re in the right frame of mind first before connecting.

Analyze Your Dreams

Along the lines of telepathy, you can use your dreams to connect with your twin flame. If you have difficulty using the conscious mind, then make use of your subconscious!

Before going to sleep, think about your Twin, ask your guides to allow you to connect with your Twin in your dreams, or even write on a piece of paper, “I dreamed of my twin flame last night’ and put it under your pillow (part magic, part manifestation!).


If you’re inclined to meditate, you can use guided meditations for twin flames to help you connect. You can communicate with your twin flame in your meditative state. They may feel this as well!

What is a False Twin Flame?

Sometimes when you meet someone, you may be inclined to think they’re your twin flame when they’re actually not. This may just be wishful thinking; in others, it may be a false twin flame.

A false twin flame can be incredibly similar to a twin flame, making it easy to confuse the two. Over time, this becomes more apparent, but it can be difficult to distinguish at first.

Signs of a False Twin Flame

1. Your false Twin Flame will be in tune with you at first, and then everything changes.

In the beginning, it seems great, and they seem to be so in tune with you and you with them. But once you start getting comfortable, they start showing a whole other ugly side to themselves, and you realize you don’t have as much in common as you originally thought.

2. Your false Twin Flame won’t stick around when things get hard.

The false twin flame is great when things are great and completely unavailable to you when things aren’t.

They’re not supportive when you’re going through hard times, they don’t check in on you when you’re down, and they won’t focus on improving the relationship when there’s an issue. They’re just not invested.

3. Your false Twin Flame doesn’t support your endeavors.

If they don’t celebrate your accomplishments, cheer you on when you’re going somewhere, and support your ambitions, they’re a false twin flame. Your true twin flame always wants you to grow, while your false twin flame wants to hold you back.

4. Your false Twin Flame is full of excuses.

There’s one excuse after another after another for why they won’t commit to you, why they won’t come to visit you, why they won’t spend your birthday with you, why they won’t introduce you to their friends or family.

The false twin flame doesn’t see you as important or a priority.

5. Your false Twin Flame makes you insecure.

Insecurity, anxiety, constant worry – this is something a false Twin does to you. Your true Twin should be someone who makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin and doesn’t put you down for what’s different about you.

Get Ready for an Intense Experience

Finding twin flame love can be one of the most incredible, intense, and emotional experiences in your life. They’re your person, and you’re theirs.

So buckle up for an intense connection – your twin flame is bound to find you.

Astrology Quiz - Have You Found Your Twin Flame?

About The Author

Nic Gaudette

Nic Gaudette's astrology career began in 2004. She's performed thousands of astrology readings, helped thousands of students learn astrology, and has written over a dozen horoscope columns and hundreds of articles for various publications, in addition to creating The Dark Pixie Astrology. Her path to becoming an astrologer started as a teenager when she picked up an astrology book out of sheer boredom in a bookstore one day and instantly became hooked. She believes astrology is an empowering tool everyone can use to help themselves. She affectionately calls her followers her "pixies." She provides daily astro tidbits on Facebook and Instagram and sends extra astro wisdom in her regular newsletter. When not working, you'll usually find her baking, obsessing over the Yankees, or binging on politics. Make sure to check her out on The Dark Pixie Astrology.
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